___neVer giVe uP yoUr drEams``

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I feel like blogging AGAIN..!!! :)

Heh, suddenly feel like blogging again after seeing Van's blog...:))

run run`chase your dreams``[4:11 AM]

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Mixed Emotions..

How fast time flies.

My sem 2.2 hols are gonna be over soon in a few days' time and then I'm gonna be Year 3.1.

I can still remem so vividly my first day in TP and my life following that.

And suddenly, I feel so nostalgic. Having mixed emotions that I cnt really comprehend in words.

Suddenly, memories of the past just play back in my mind.

All the bittersweet memories.

My kindergarden days.

My primary school days.

My secondary school days.

My JC days.

And then my TP days.

Time really passes too fast alread.

If time can hold, I wish I can revisit some of those sweet chapters of my life once again.Can I?

All those memories are making me feel nostalgic.

I'm having mixed emotions.

I'm scared of the unknown.

I'm starting my intern in less than a week's time or so ......

And before I know it, sem 3.1 will end and then followed by the start of sem 3.2......

And before I even remem, I'm outta TP and I'll once again be like a lost boat, not knowing what shd I do nxt with my life...shd I work or shd I continue with my studies...even if I wana cont with my studies, can my parents or will they even want to support me thru' it again......I doubt so..so I know it myself tat most prolly I'll be working after I grad frm TP which is sooooo sad coz tat means I'm just a pathetic diploma holder, unlike my friends who're in unis.........

Many times I wonder why's my life like this. Why cnt I have made it to the uni like my other friends? What exactly went wrong that made me walk this pathway..........

And many times I just console myself that perharps it's in God's plans I've to take this path...and I must say that I've gotten to know many great ppl that made an impact in my life during this chapter of my life. They sorta brought me into another world which I will otherwise not have known to exist.......

I guess I shd not think too much or let my emotions overwhelm me like I do many a time. Perharps I shd just let nature take its own course and see what life has in store for me......I'll just do my best in whatever that is in store for me and play my part.........

I pray that my SIP life will be a good and enriching one that will add onto my sweet chapters of my life story...........

=)

run run`chase your dreams``[10:06 PM]

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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Are You Happy?

You said you want back your freedom.

So I gave you yours..smt you've been wanting ..

So are you happy now?

But it's so strange coz I've always given you the freedom to do what you want even when we're together..

So cld it be that saying this is just your excuse to get rid of me, this so-called "rubbish" you so often call me these days coz you're just sick and tired of me?

They say that guys are often the ones who start the chasing game. And girls are often the ones who get hurt at the end of it coz girls are sentimental creatures who dont want things to end. How true.

I really dont want things to end b/w us but I guess there's no point crying over spilt milk now.

I have waited almost one year and hanging onto whatever that was left of us. But I'm really tired of waiting and hoping for miracles to happen coz I know they wont. Coz the fact is that you've changed. You're no longer who you used to be. The guy I used to love. To tell you the truth, I really HATE those friends of yours to the core coz they make you what you're today which is a really bad thing...coz you changed for the worse........I'm tired of you scolding me stupid, saying I'm useless,saying me this and that...am I really that worthless to you now???Why must you treat me like a "rubbish" now...You didnt used to be like this. Why must you hurt me so badly now. My heart aches so much you've no idea or wont even care how much you've hurt me deep inside of me.

I know it's time to MOVE ON. I know I shld have done that almost one year ago when you initiated the break up. But I clnt take the abrupt shocking news. It took me almost one year now to accept that things are not what it used to be and that what you've said is totally right. Moreover, you said that you dont plan to marry me and that you wana stay single your whole life. I cnt just keep waiting for you. Coz I still hope to get married and have kids and build a happy family of my own. This's smt that I've always wanted coz all my life I dont really get to enjoy the warmth of a family.

I know I'm just so useless. I always have to depend on ppl. Why cnt I be more independent and not always act like such a baby? Why am I depending on YOU now that I've lost him.......haix.......='(

run run`chase your dreams``[9:26 PM]

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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Quotes

Quotes with compliments from Ms MengNi ..=P -meows-

Eyes are cleared by many tears, and a heart is softened by the tendest sorrow..

The one who is blind to the view of our soul shall not enjoy life as it is..

run run`chase your dreams``[9:46 AM]

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I was on the brink of death on 7/1/09..sobx

Dear Bloggie,

It was such a scary experience for me todae..sobx..........I felt giddy and I almost fainted on the bus today...I thought for a moment that I was going to meet God very soon ...-cries-

run run`chase your dreams``[3:28 AM]

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Friday, December 26, 2008

In a dilema..

Dear Bloggie.

It has been AGESSSSSSS since I last blogged.

I'm so sorry I sorta abandoned you bloggie, but tt's coz I've been SOOOO caught up in my hectic and busy life of school, fun, girlies, bf etc etc..and I simply had no energy nor the enthusiasm to blog about things.I'm really sorry, forgive me, wont you, bloggie..

And every time I finally FEEL like blogging, it sorta means I'm in a sorta CRISIS.

YES. CRISIS. A LOVE CRISIS this time round.

I'm so so confused and I really dont know what should I do. Pls someone help me.........plssssssssssss.........

It all happened with me working at the ice cream shop at Novena in my last sem hols.

He came over to buy cookies and cream ice cream from me.

I served him.

I often went over to buy his butter waffles coz tt was like the easiest and fastest to be eaten during my pathetic 5 mins or so break time.

Someone, one fine day, I smiled at him coz he came over to buy cookies and cream again.

He smiled back and we chatted.

We hit it off immediately.

We chatted and we became friends.

Finally, on my last day of work there, he so happened to come over to my ice cream shop and chatted with me. Apparently, he wanted to buy cookies and cream ice cream from me again. It was sorta funny why he only buys that flavor ice cream.

I told him it was my last day at work that day.

He looked sorta sad.

He told me if we cld exchange contacts coz apparently, he wanted to come to TP open house. ( before that he knew I studied at TP while chatting..)

I thought he meant only that so I gave him my contacts.

Before long, after we parted, he started msging me there and then.

We were only a few shops apart and we were msging each other like some long lost friend.

But I thought nth much of it coz I thought he just wanted to be friendly to me. Like how he's friendly to everyone else.

On that very day, he called me and we chatted on the phone for the first time.

Still, I thought nth about it coz I thought he 's friendly to everyone so it's normal.

We started to chat with each other almost everyday after that.

Before long, he sent me a sms asking me out.

So we went out for the first time.

It was quite special going out with him coz I never experienced going out with someone who has his style.

But still, my feelings for him is platonic.

I just treated him like a friend.

Coz in my heart , I only loved Dorai and that was that.

And I thought it was the same for him too.

That he was just being nice and friendly to me, like how he's with his other friends.

Before we know it, we became quite close to each other. We chat on the phone, hung out every fridays.

To me, he became like my yet another good friend whom I cld relate to and hang out with. And I only treated him as a friend and it stopped at that.

But it took me some time before I realised that he didnt just treat me like a friend. Some of the things he said and did. But still, I thought perharps, maybe, most likely, I was thinking too much again coz I thought that he shd know that I alread have a bf and I told him that before.

Before long, it became kinda a habit for us to hang out almost every friday after my school. ( He's off on Fridays back then)

Before long, he hinted to me he likes me more than a friend. BUT I was stupid enough to just brush off that idea though I kinda suspected.

Then, I was still with Dorai. I still loved him alot. So I wanted so much for that suspicion that he might like me as more than a friend to be just a false alarm coz I liked him as a friend only.

But before long, one day, when we met up again, he surprised me. He presented a sweet bracelet, flowers and a pressie to me and asked me to be his gf.I was so shocked and surprised. But I declined coz I knew that was the right thing to do coz I still loved Dorai. How cld I accept another guy into my life when I'm still confused about my r/s with Dorai and that I knew that I still loved Dorai?

..............

run run`chase your dreams``[6:13 AM]

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Hols and school stuffs..

My hols had been a total blast. Everyday I'd things to do and everyday was happy. There wasnt a single day of boredom...and everyday is a fun day of shopping or working or cycling or swimming or alot of other things lahx..I got to hang out with ppl I LIKE and can get very well along with and spent happy times with the. BUT I guess that good things never last long..coz before I know it, the hols are over and BORING school started. ='(

I'm still feeling nostalgic coz I miss my happy holidays lahx. Not that stupid school starts, I have to face the stressful life again..I can alread see the super stressful and sad life I'll be leading this sem for 4 months lahx..

Yea, anyways, today smt very upsetting to me happened and I still cnt believe it happened lahx. I knew it might happen but I still felt very upset when it happened..I dnt want to blog about it lahx..ppl who know about it will know what I'm talking about lahx..All I can say is that in life, U'll surely meet ppl who like and dislike U, just like how U will tend to like and dislike certain ppl lahx..Even how nice U're or what, this rule of thumb applies lahx..All I can say is that it's totally NOT WORTH IT TO FEEL TOO UPSET OVER THESE PPL COZ IT'S JUST A WASTE OF YOUR STRENGTH AND LIFE..But for a very emotional person like me, it's quite very hard not to feel too upset over these kinda ppl coz I'm the sort of person who cares and minds what others think of me. But I guess I just have to learn to not be too emotional and let my emotions overwhelm me..I just have to be rationale and more cold blooded just like U-know-who..

haix..I totally dread going to school now lahx..I miss the working carefree days..

run run`chase your dreams``[2:17 AM]

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